The F*cking Annoying Process

Dealing with challenges in the workplace

Oh Hai guys! I’m now using this for all sorts, not just sewing – this one is about business, or more specifically – things I’ve learned and now sharing with the wide world. I’m in the process of writing a book (well, I’ve done most of it, found some peeps to help me, but to get it published, I need a following), and I want to know if what i’m writing will help any other aspiring women in business.

I’m going to post some excerpts and daily musings, sewing escapades, and funny stories about my kids because it’s fun for me 🙂

Do you ever feel like you aren’t sure you quite get what’s going on around you, like you just need a little bit more time to do something or do something….

When I start a new project or job, I refer to it as the 5 stages of grief (and interestingly, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross actually came up with this to describe the process patients go through in their diagnosis, not the loved ones or grief, so it’s more fitting to use it in this setting), but for the purposes of my life, I’m going to call it The F*cking Annoying Process that I go through every.single.time something challenging happens to me.

Denial ( I think of this as Oversimplify), you know – Oh yeah that sounds good, I get it, won’t take long, I’ll come back to you with a plan. Or if you got in trouble for something I would be more like ‘no that’s not what I meant, taken completely out of context, it’s not me at fault here’.

Anger: yeeeep, this generally comes in the form of frustration at work. For me, I know it’s coming. ‘Why don’t I get this?!’ it’s not that hard, it can’t be, everyone else gets it, grrrrrrrrrr

Bargaining: this is the point a lot of people stop – if you can get someone else to do what you don’t want to – awesome, but you won’t learn from it. There’s a reason so many leading authors talk about getting out of your comfort zone, or stretch goals. This is the stage where you will see yourself looking for another way of doing it that has been done before – like googling the terms you want to use and looking for similar resources. Sometimes it works, but for a lot of work, if you’re going through this process in the first place it’s because it hasn’t been done yet.

Depression (realism): This is when you hit the wall of NOPE. No resources, no time, still don’t understand what you’re trying to achieve. This bit is hard. But you can’t stay here – you still have to get up, do the thing you don’t want to and….good news…. It will pass if you trust the process. It’s that old saying – if it’s not ok, it’s not the end.

Acceptance (light bulb moment): This one will take as long as it takes to get there. But you seriously can’t force it. You can speed up the process if you know yourself well enough to identify which stage you’re up to and work with it. Problem solve with your own brain. This bit is the really cool bit. If you can get there – this makes everything worth it. The sky is the limit, all is well in the world and it feels just a little bit brighter.

The main thing to be aware of in this F*cking Annoying Process is that you don’t start from the beginning again! I’ve seen staff get to the point of almost getting it, getting some bad feedback and going right back to the beginning. It is a vicious cycle, and super annoying to everyone around you. If you need to go round the block again – do it in your own time!

Express it!

If you’re feeling it, there’s nothing wrong with identifying where you are to your manager or your peers.

Hopefully if I can just help one woman feel more present and seen and identify with other women out there, then I will be satisfied cause you know what, sometimes life is fucking hard and sometimes we have to put on our big girl panties and get on with it.

Big Loves xxoo